so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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