I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
