How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
