He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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