You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
