Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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