first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
