Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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