Nicole vs. Life
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Randomize
