it hurts more in the daytime
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
