Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
