She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize