I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
