yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
