no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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