she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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