Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
Randomize
