woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
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