which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Princesses don't give blow jobs
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
