i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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