12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
