He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
