We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
