so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Randomize
