how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
