she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
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