My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
