he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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