A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
