as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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