that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
I'm gonna write a song for the kids called "you're systematically killing your mother". In it I will explain that my recent hypertension and increase in smoking is due to them being dicks
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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