I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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