Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
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