I'd wear matching sweaters with you
I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Randomize
