whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
