Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
