i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Randomize
