Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
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