omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
