Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
