i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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