I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
