The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
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