i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize