In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
