quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
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