maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Randomize
