Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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