They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
love makes seman taste better
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
