so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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