Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
YAS. BRING CRAB.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
