I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
Randomize
