Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
