What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
