Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
