he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Randomize